oh wow………

it is AAAAAAAAAAGES……. since i have been here last. i just couldn’t write. i was in hospital twice… once i even landed on ICU and my family was called by the docs… were told to wish me goodbye & farewell … well as you can see, i am still here.. thank you God for that 🙂 i am still with my lovely husband, family, friends… carers, … careres…. yes….. because they care …. for me…… and about me. and that is wonderful… my cancer is the same as before… i think at the moment the metastases have been stopped from growing more. they haven’t spread either … but of course i am in a wheelchair. i can not walk longer distancances… well short ones neither. thus the wheelchair. i do have a ROLLI tho… short stretches like in my apartment are ok with that. and the beauty is.. i can turn it around and sit down in it. that is good because my legs just give out at times….. how to walk properly if there is no feeling in your legs, your feet, your thighs ? awkward i can tell you. but i am good. no more than that. i am fine 🙂 God is with me.. i love Him i can tell ya. HE does so much for me too….. HE is the real carer … as i said, i LOVE him and i care for him too and i am full of gratitude for the lovely things i get daily. i am forever grateful for this gift i got from Him. … i am a positive person… i am an optimist… and i love life. this is what lets me live with cancer, cancer that – according to meds – is not cureable. … cancer in the last stage.. i have palliative care…… palliative meaning —> perhaps prolonging life, making living circumstances more comfy…
my death has been taken care of. i have made plans, which i still need to write down, but it is all here in my head… having looked at death and having made those plans… i can put all of this death-stuff aside and continue enjoying life 🙂
of course, when i was hospitalised i did not create art….. just one piece of a grumpy fish, very art brut, outsider art in style, this little fish in his grumpyness went off to the USA. but my creativity is back. i have made a few new paintings, and just today i started on a new piece of art… the background is happening. at the same time, ok about 2 weeks ago, i re-discovered an old love. knitting. at the moment it is either knitting or painting… my hands are always busy in a way. knitting has become my way to get grounded again… it is so zen, meditative, relaxing, fun… in short… i LOVE knitting 🙂 i will show you……. i am making a pair of sox for my bestie friend in the USA … and i will also show you my new background. and apart from that you have plenty to read …… so i will come to an end now. look at the pics… read what i wrote… or don’t … and i wish you all a lovely weekend.

with much Love and Light ………. pat aka mimulux 🙂

p.s. ok.. you are right… i changed my mind.. i only uploaded art i created since leaving hospital. some of them are for sale… please check out my homepage on DailyPaintworks … tada.. see ya 🙂

Advertisement

… on a more personal note

dear followers, dear friends 🙂

i realize that it’s been quite a while that i have posted anything here on my blog. and what i posted, was kind of sporadic. i would like to apologize for this. for very specific reasons, i was a lot less creative over the last months.

i don’t like to talk about private matters on the net, however in this instance i will make an exception… a small one. but i feel, you all have the right to know what’s been going on, what IS going on… and how things are.

i came to switzerland in june of this year to visit my children, and to have a medical checkup. it was then that i was diagnosed with breast cancer. in july i started on a very heavy course of chemo, 4 hourly, weekly cycles. after 6 weeks i had to have a break cause due to my immune system being practically non-existant, i was close to a blood poisoning in my left arm. i had to take antibiotics and chemo was stopped for two weeks. then, it continued and two weeks ago i had the last cycle. i was lucky.. all in all. the side effects were bearable, the worst being the extreme tiredness and exhaustion – i still have that ! – the complete loss of taste – yuck to all foods and drinks – the sensory disturbances in my hands and footsoles.

in the beginning i was still capable to create art, but as the chemo sessions continued, i had less and less energy to be creative. so i really changed into a complete couch potato. i read a lot – make this past and present tense! – mostly thrillers.. but many books on art too, watch/ed TV and slept/sleep.

OK.. so far so good. i am better now… slowly getting some energy back and slowly being more creative again. today.. i have to go to hospital for more bloodtests, a CT and meeting with my oncologist. in two weeks, on October 11th, i will have surgery.

anyway. i am good. i am.. lucky to be here in switzerland. i have fabulous doctors… am being treated in a top rate oncology center… and i wasn’t even aware there being one here, in the city where my eldest son lives. i live with my son.. he is wonderful.. looking after me, cooking for me, going shopping….. my other children live close by and visit me often. my wonderful husband is at home, taking care of the house and our dogs… if he weren’t so supportive and kind, i could never manage this all !

i count myself lucky. i am here, in a fantastic place, surrounded by the alps. there is so much good and healing energy here.. can you believe it? yes i count myself lucky.. yes, i have cancer, and yes, i have accepted it. my hair is gone.. i am bald.. but … i wont wear a wig nor a scarf nor whatever… i am boldly bald.. nothing to hide ! it is another lesson i am learning, another stepping stone in my life.

i wish you all a great new week… and sending you all lots of love and light.

mimulux aka pat