a series within a series – Brain Surgeon

Brain Surgeon

This is probably a start into a new series within my cardboardart, which in itself is a new series.  … a set of weird characters … this is the first one, titled Brain Surgeon … two more backgrounds are in the works. These weird characters … where do they come from ? I encountered them on my latest journey and will talk more about them later. i had so many positive and wonderful encounters and experiences on this journey.. but of course, there is always a not so nice side to everything, and slowly this side is also showing itself, emerging from deep within my soul. which is good.. a relief.. part of the process of acceptance and integration. so it is important to me to be able to put these characters down on paper.. or rather, on cardboard. Why Cardboard? the sizes of the paintings will vary.. as i use used cardboard.. the edges might be slightly off.. frayed.. the sides might be a bit crooked because they are cut-outs.. they can be tiny and they can be large. the main thing is.. they are used.. there is energy in them.. they are not pristine like watercolour paper that hasn’t been used before.. is clean and proper, almost virginal .. but this material has been in different hands, used, with a purpose, like a skin it is protecting the “insides” .. the goods.. the wares.. that is why i feel i can paint on this material.. it feels liberating, encouraging me to just “let go”.

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celestial windows – and the story behind my art

Celestial Windows
The Story behind Celestial Windows: In July 2016 i was diagnosed with breast cancer. Then my world turned upside down… for a while. Chemotherapy started immediately, followed by surgery, then a break and soon i am starting with radiation therapy, then one more chemo-series. One thing followed the other, it took my breath away. During chemo i lost my creative spark, i was too tired, too exhausted and i spent most of my days on the sofa, sleeping! it takes quite a while to recover from this.
Now finally my creativity seems to be back. My style has changed – a bit … I notice that my colours are stronger, the designs more intricate. I use mostly recycled cardboard to create my mixed-media collages, but some are still done on watercolour paper.
The story of Celestial Windows: Chemotherapy.. sounds scary. I was confronted with this soon after my diagnosis. My oncologist is a wonderful person, kind, compassionate, gentle. He took and takes his time to explain, to remove fears, to be honest without shocking, and so he told me what type of cancer i had and what kind of chemo would be applied. It sounded like a lot – 4 hours per week over 8 weeks. UGH.. i went… and he admitted, it WAS a lot.
So he accompanied me to the chemo room. I heard some bleeps from machines, low voices .. and entered the room for the first time. There was a big desk, nursing staff was busy behind and in front of the desk, my oncologist introduced me to the staff and.. i was greeted by friendly smiles all round. Then i saw the chairs, they looked wonderfully comfy.. covered in a soft leatherlike material, light beige in colour, with buttons to adjust the position of the chair.. so it could be almost turned into a bed.. or you could sit straight up… Next i noticed that all chairs stood side by side, with a partition between each chair so each patient had his privacy.. but then i saw the windows! Huge, enormous windows, and the view was overwhelming. It was so beautiful.. so magic … so special. The oncology ward is on the 5th floor, so i was quite high up already, no buildings blocking the view, and there it was, this incredibly beautiful view.. right on to the swiss alps. The famous Eiger mountain almost close enough to touch, next to it the Mönch and the Jungrau mountains. I remember thinking, this view is magic, it has healing qualities.. the energy here is wonderful, and i relaxed, feeling safe and well cared for.
So the Celestial Windows represent those “magic windows” in the chemo room; the angels are the careing nursing staff, cause that is what they are, kind, gentle and always a friendly smile ready for you, the big angel standing behind and a little bit hidden represents my oncologist… and Goddess, sitting a bit off to the side and smiling to herself, well she is herself, that strong and powerful energy i felt up in that room, and not only in that room, this energy is everywhere here.

… on a more personal note

dear followers, dear friends 🙂

i realize that it’s been quite a while that i have posted anything here on my blog. and what i posted, was kind of sporadic. i would like to apologize for this. for very specific reasons, i was a lot less creative over the last months.

i don’t like to talk about private matters on the net, however in this instance i will make an exception… a small one. but i feel, you all have the right to know what’s been going on, what IS going on… and how things are.

i came to switzerland in june of this year to visit my children, and to have a medical checkup. it was then that i was diagnosed with breast cancer. in july i started on a very heavy course of chemo, 4 hourly, weekly cycles. after 6 weeks i had to have a break cause due to my immune system being practically non-existant, i was close to a blood poisoning in my left arm. i had to take antibiotics and chemo was stopped for two weeks. then, it continued and two weeks ago i had the last cycle. i was lucky.. all in all. the side effects were bearable, the worst being the extreme tiredness and exhaustion – i still have that ! – the complete loss of taste – yuck to all foods and drinks – the sensory disturbances in my hands and footsoles.

in the beginning i was still capable to create art, but as the chemo sessions continued, i had less and less energy to be creative. so i really changed into a complete couch potato. i read a lot – make this past and present tense! – mostly thrillers.. but many books on art too, watch/ed TV and slept/sleep.

OK.. so far so good. i am better now… slowly getting some energy back and slowly being more creative again. today.. i have to go to hospital for more bloodtests, a CT and meeting with my oncologist. in two weeks, on October 11th, i will have surgery.

anyway. i am good. i am.. lucky to be here in switzerland. i have fabulous doctors… am being treated in a top rate oncology center… and i wasn’t even aware there being one here, in the city where my eldest son lives. i live with my son.. he is wonderful.. looking after me, cooking for me, going shopping….. my other children live close by and visit me often. my wonderful husband is at home, taking care of the house and our dogs… if he weren’t so supportive and kind, i could never manage this all !

i count myself lucky. i am here, in a fantastic place, surrounded by the alps. there is so much good and healing energy here.. can you believe it? yes i count myself lucky.. yes, i have cancer, and yes, i have accepted it. my hair is gone.. i am bald.. but … i wont wear a wig nor a scarf nor whatever… i am boldly bald.. nothing to hide ! it is another lesson i am learning, another stepping stone in my life.

i wish you all a great new week… and sending you all lots of love and light.

mimulux aka pat