oh wow………

it is AAAAAAAAAAGES……. since i have been here last. i just couldn’t write. i was in hospital twice… once i even landed on ICU and my family was called by the docs… were told to wish me goodbye & farewell … well as you can see, i am still here.. thank you God for that 🙂 i am still with my lovely husband, family, friends… carers, … careres…. yes….. because they care …. for me…… and about me. and that is wonderful… my cancer is the same as before… i think at the moment the metastases have been stopped from growing more. they haven’t spread either … but of course i am in a wheelchair. i can not walk longer distancances… well short ones neither. thus the wheelchair. i do have a ROLLI tho… short stretches like in my apartment are ok with that. and the beauty is.. i can turn it around and sit down in it. that is good because my legs just give out at times….. how to walk properly if there is no feeling in your legs, your feet, your thighs ? awkward i can tell you. but i am good. no more than that. i am fine 🙂 God is with me.. i love Him i can tell ya. HE does so much for me too….. HE is the real carer … as i said, i LOVE him and i care for him too and i am full of gratitude for the lovely things i get daily. i am forever grateful for this gift i got from Him. … i am a positive person… i am an optimist… and i love life. this is what lets me live with cancer, cancer that – according to meds – is not cureable. … cancer in the last stage.. i have palliative care…… palliative meaning —> perhaps prolonging life, making living circumstances more comfy…
my death has been taken care of. i have made plans, which i still need to write down, but it is all here in my head… having looked at death and having made those plans… i can put all of this death-stuff aside and continue enjoying life 🙂
of course, when i was hospitalised i did not create art….. just one piece of a grumpy fish, very art brut, outsider art in style, this little fish in his grumpyness went off to the USA. but my creativity is back. i have made a few new paintings, and just today i started on a new piece of art… the background is happening. at the same time, ok about 2 weeks ago, i re-discovered an old love. knitting. at the moment it is either knitting or painting… my hands are always busy in a way. knitting has become my way to get grounded again… it is so zen, meditative, relaxing, fun… in short… i LOVE knitting 🙂 i will show you……. i am making a pair of sox for my bestie friend in the USA … and i will also show you my new background. and apart from that you have plenty to read …… so i will come to an end now. look at the pics… read what i wrote… or don’t … and i wish you all a lovely weekend.

with much Love and Light ………. pat aka mimulux 🙂

p.s. ok.. you are right… i changed my mind.. i only uploaded art i created since leaving hospital. some of them are for sale… please check out my homepage on DailyPaintworks … tada.. see ya 🙂

oh my gosh.. .. a new life .. and so much happening

dear friends.. dear readers

my chemotherapy makes me very tired… a fact which really made me angry at the beginning.. i fought against it, could not accept it… wanted it to go away. but fatigue doesn’t just “go away”. fatigue is – or can be – totally overwhelming.. i walked around like a zombie.. and i would avoid sitting on the sofa cause i knew.. the moment i sat on it.. i would fall asleep. so .. i sat on uncomfortable chairs, just to keep me awake. i would purposely stay active… do something.. anything.. just to get away from fatigue. of course.. – yes you guessed correctly – all of that did not work.. on the contary.. it made it worse. fatigue turned into a huge black wave.. that would just catch me.. engulf me.. and drag me along.. into the land of sleep. my sleep is so deep that i cannot hear the phone ring.. nor the alarm clock.. nor the doorbell. i am out of it.. completely.. almost “unconscious”… a goner…… zilch……. out….. just blackness surrounding me.

but things have changed… and that is the “new life” part… i realize that my sleep is there for a reason. it has a purpose.. it even has a healing quality… this “revelation” was initiated by a dear friend of mine.. who prayed for me … and during her prayer i had this.. aha moment.. and there was a flow of energy entering me.. it was a totally amazing feeling and it changed my point of view. i still have cancer related fatigue though.. every day… every hour.. every minute… but during my friend’s prayer i suddenly was able to change perspectives.. i.e. sleep was not my enemy, but my friend. so now.. i have made adjustments to my life.. in the mornings.. i am awake.. i do my stuff, the householdy stuff… and once the flat is cleaned… well sort of.. … it is art time. art.. is amazing.. art heals… art gives me energy.. art makes me happy.. when i am creating something.. i do not feel the fatigue.. it is there.. but i do not feel it. i am on a different level.. i enjoy what i am doing and it gives me so much.. i feel so blessed and happy… that i have this gift., that i was given this gift !… it is such a great help now 🙂 ok. that was a long story…. at 4.30 p.m. though… i am off. i go and lay down on my bed.. and within 10 minutes max.. i sleep.. sometimes 2 hours… sometimes 3.. once i even slept til almost 10 p.m. !!! .. wow.. but i have come to terms with things… and i have re-arranged my life.. so that my body gets what it needs.. sleep.. a LOT of it… but also energizing stuff like.. art.. or a workout at the gym … a walk.. or just sitting on the balcony and enjoying the sun 🙂

now to the wowowow part 🙂 i sold two paintings this week. isn’t that absolutely amazing?? both of them are off to the USA on monday. ! so here they are… take a look.. and i have many more paintings waiting for a new home… :)) i wish you all a marvellous day.. be happy, take care.. stay healthy…. wear that mask darn it !!!! .. and be good 🙂

love and light………. pat ♥

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  A Warm Spring Day

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  Blue Donkey walking up the Hill

a big THANK YOU to the collectors who bought my art. i am very grateful… and i wish you lots of joy and happiness with my art !!